Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Monday, July 5, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
關於青春，其實我想說的是...
跟sales妹妹聊起來，她說年輕不好，有很多事情都沒有足夠經驗去處理。我說：下？你有冇二十五歲，你的煩惱不外乎是失戀？她說：我似二十五歲嗎？真好，成日比人話細路女。我剛剛二十。我說：我老你好多。她説：真係？以為你二十三四，可能你無化妝！
我說：唔係啦二十五歲之後真係會差好遠..她說：我淨係覺得十六歲之後時間過得好快...
再一次證明，要判斷別人幾多歲，往往以自己做標準.....現在我是以二十五歲起跳，身邊已經沒有任何正在唸書的朋友（碩士除外）....
真的老了。Gracefully.
我說：唔係啦二十五歲之後真係會差好遠..她說：我淨係覺得十六歲之後時間過得好快...
再一次證明，要判斷別人幾多歲，往往以自己做標準.....現在我是以二十五歲起跳，身邊已經沒有任何正在唸書的朋友（碩士除外）....
真的老了。Gracefully.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
How to Get Out of a Job You Hate by Brian Kim
Hate is a pretty strong word, but I think a lot of people out there will agree that its use is justified in this article. I don’t need to cite any statistics or reports to tell you that there are a lot of people out there who absolutely hate their jobs. You probably know at least one person in your social circle who can relate to that.
They hate it to the point where they feel sick to their stomach going to work every morning. They feel dread on Sunday afternoon, knowing that in less than 12 hours, they have to go back for another week of hell.
The reasons vary – the job is not well suited to their personality, bad management, bad co-workers, meager pay, with most people feeling like small cogs in a well oiled business machine.
So how do you get out of a job you hate? It would be really easy to say “Just quit” wouldn’t it?
But alas, life is not so easy. There are bills to pay, stomachs to feed, things to buy, so these circumstances chain us in a seemingly never ending cycle.
What’s even worse is when you’re stuck in a career you hate.
A lot of people pursue a career for the money only to find they don’t like it, and get stuck in it in the sense that they only accrue experience specific to that career and unknowingly pigeon hole themselves in that career by doing so.
To help with this hidden epidemic, here is a step by step method you can use to help get you out of a job/career you absolutely hate and into one that you’ll absolutely love.
1. Simply your life. Simplify, simplify, simplify.
What a lot of people seem to do is purchase expensive or unnecessary products and services to alleviate and distract them from the pain of working in jobs they hate.
Big screen HDTVs, cable TV, expensive cars, etc., and what this does is further dig them in a hole. How so?
With these new purchases, they become more enslaved in debt AND time. Not only are their resources put toward things that won’t help them get out of a job/career they hate, their time is diverted elsewhere, time and resources that can be used to tackle the problem dead on, rather than avoid it.
I constantly get emails from people who “have it all” from society’s point of view. Expensive car, the latest gadgets, beautiful wife, yet they feel unfulfilled and dread going to work everyday and that’s no way to live at all.
Most people get the whole equation backwards. They work in jobs they hate but do it anyway and buy material items to look “successful” in other people’s eyes, and continue to do so in order to keep up the charade, all in the meantime having their insides twist and turn every time they pull into work.
The main reasons why you should simplify your life are to give you the time and resources to focus on getting out of the job you hate and into a job/career/business you’ll love.
There are tons of ways to simplify your life.
Cut the TV and the cable. (so you can free time and brainpower)
Buy a used car.
Move to a smaller residence.
Stop eating out so much (huge factor)
Learn to cook.
Sell what you don’t need.
Keep track of what you spend everyday (it really adds up)
Do you really need Starbucks everyday?
The bus is a great way to travel (especially with gas prices these days).
Save your loose change.
By no means am I telling you to become a monk and live in the mountains. All I’m saying is start to differentiate between needs and wants and discipline yourself to simplify your life and what you’ll find is that you’ll be pleasantly surprised at just how much time and money you can actually save.
When you simplify your life, you’ll find yourself with more time and resources on your hands. What do you do with those precious resources?
2. Develop Cross Marketable Skills.
This is where a lot of people get stuck. You can spend all the time you want accruing experience, but that will only serve to trap you in your current career, which is exactly what you don’t want if you hate your job/career.
Developing cross marketable skills is what will help free you to pursue other job opportunities and careers.
Cross marketable meaning that they will serve you in any job or career, regardless of industry.
What are some cross marketable skills to develop?
Selling/Persuasion – selling yourself and your ideas to others – this skills is needed more often than you think.
When you’re on the interview, what are you essentially doing?
When you want a raise, what are you doing?
When you suggest implementing your idea, what are you doing?
There is nothing sleazy about selling. Many people associate selling with ripping the other party off. Not so. If the product/services is good, which is YOU, learning how to sell yourself and your ideas should be your top priority. There are a ton of books on this subject and it wouldn’t hurt to read some of them.
Creativity – technology is replacing a lot of jobs that involve routine. A simple example is the cashier. Most places are equipped with self check out stands now. Creativity is the ONE thing that will NEVER be replaced by technology. NEVER. Developing this quality will separate you from the pack.
Effective Communication – I don’t think I need to explain this one.
Social Skills – most jobs will require interaction with people so it would be prudent to learn how to interact with people.
Self Leadership – nothing is more satisfying than knowing you can count on yourself to get the job done. And nothing is more satisfying to employers than knowing you have the self leadership to get the job done as well. No looking over the shoulder. Complete peace of mind. It’s been delegated, it will be done.
Time Management – this is a subset of self leadership and it wouldn’t hurt to learn how to manage your time efficiently as well.
Technology Skills - especially computer related skills. If you’re still having trouble with computers, it would be wise to invest some time in money and learn how to utilize them. Technology is one of the most effective forms of leverage for any business and businesses will continue to use them so you might as well hop on board if you haven’t already done so.
* Note: These skills will help regardless of whether you choose to go down the employee or entrepreneur path.
Develop these intangible skills and you’ll have a nice edge you can bring to the table.
3. Find What You Love to Do in the Meantime.
Again, if you’ve simplified your life, you’ll have time and resources on your hands. You use these precious resources to develop your cross marketable skills AND to find what you love to do.
When you find what you love, spend time on that subject. Become an expert on it.
The great thing about this is that you will naturally become on expert on the subject you love because you spend so much time on it.
You read books about it; you think about it all day long, you practice it.
If you think about it, that’s ultimately what we get paid for – expertise. That’s the bottom line.
Programmers get paid because of their expertise in programming software.
Project managers get paid because of their expertise in managing projects.
Accountants get paid because of their expertise in crunching numbers.
Expertise is a natural byproduct of pursuing what you love to do and people will pay for expertise.
4. Develop Skills, Knowledge, and Experience Related to What You Love to Do.
With your newfound time and resources, this should be easy and natural to do as well.
Skills will become a natural byproduct of spending time doing what you love to do and practicing it.
Knowledge will be a natural byproduct as well. You’ll want to know all about the subject you’re passionate about so you’ll read the newspapers, books, articles, etc., that are related to what you love to do.
With all the time and knowledge and skills you accrue, all of that morphs into experience.
Here’s a really simple example to put together everything we’ve discussed so far.
You’ve simplified your life. You’ve cut down on expenses. You find yourself having freed the precious resources of time and money. You develop your cross marketable skills. You spend your time figuring out what you love to do and you find it and let’s say for example’s sake, it’s making people laugh, telling jokes, stand up comedy, etc.
What now?
Rather than spending money on buying rims for your car, you start buying stand up comedy material from. Chris Rock to Jerry Seinfeld. You spend your time thinking of jokes and anecdotes to tell rather than watching the latest episode of Lost. You seek out a mentor and convince him (thanks to developing your cross marketable skill of persuasion) to help guide you in this new career. You read the books. You try some stand up at a local bar. You apply for a night gig at the local comedy shop, etc.
You see how all of these steps intertwine to help one another?
5. Job Hunt / Start Your Own Business
When you’ve done all this – simplified your life to free up time and resources to develop cross marketable skills and find what you love and developed skills, experience, and knowledge related to that, something inside of you will begin to shine.
You begin to have purpose. You have direction. You’re going somewhere, rather than having that hopeless feeling of being “stuck” in the job/career you hate.
And with that newfound momentum, it’s time to job hunt or start your own business doing what you love to do. This will be easier to do since you’ve developed those cross marketable skills and accrued skills, knowledge, and experience doing what you love to do, hence making you an expert.
6. Quit Your Job.
The time in which you quit your job is entirely up to you.
Some people may be able to do steps 1-5 while working at their job.Others may find that to not be the case.
In any event, steps 1-3 CAN be done while working at your current j ob (simplify your life, develop cross marketable skills, find what you love to do).
If you feel that you won’t have enough time to do steps 4-5 while working at your current job, you can wait until you’ve saved enough money from step 1 to live for three months.
You can then find a part time job that will keep them afloat while you engage in steps 4 and 5.
Quitting your job is a powerful motivator because when you MUST do something, you WILL do it. If you keep telling yourself that you’ll do it later, you’ll always be stuck at your job. Quitting your job serves like a good kick in the pants. Just make sure you have something to fall back on before you do it.
When you’re doing what you love to do, the payoff is so much better. Your health will improve. You’ll be less depressed. Your relationships with friends and family will improve as well. You’ll actually be eager to wake up Monday morning.
The journey you go through from simplifying your life to pursuing your passion, it may be full of ups and downs but in the end, it’s worth it.
They hate it to the point where they feel sick to their stomach going to work every morning. They feel dread on Sunday afternoon, knowing that in less than 12 hours, they have to go back for another week of hell.
The reasons vary – the job is not well suited to their personality, bad management, bad co-workers, meager pay, with most people feeling like small cogs in a well oiled business machine.
So how do you get out of a job you hate? It would be really easy to say “Just quit” wouldn’t it?
But alas, life is not so easy. There are bills to pay, stomachs to feed, things to buy, so these circumstances chain us in a seemingly never ending cycle.
What’s even worse is when you’re stuck in a career you hate.
A lot of people pursue a career for the money only to find they don’t like it, and get stuck in it in the sense that they only accrue experience specific to that career and unknowingly pigeon hole themselves in that career by doing so.
To help with this hidden epidemic, here is a step by step method you can use to help get you out of a job/career you absolutely hate and into one that you’ll absolutely love.
1. Simply your life. Simplify, simplify, simplify.
What a lot of people seem to do is purchase expensive or unnecessary products and services to alleviate and distract them from the pain of working in jobs they hate.
Big screen HDTVs, cable TV, expensive cars, etc., and what this does is further dig them in a hole. How so?
With these new purchases, they become more enslaved in debt AND time. Not only are their resources put toward things that won’t help them get out of a job/career they hate, their time is diverted elsewhere, time and resources that can be used to tackle the problem dead on, rather than avoid it.
I constantly get emails from people who “have it all” from society’s point of view. Expensive car, the latest gadgets, beautiful wife, yet they feel unfulfilled and dread going to work everyday and that’s no way to live at all.
Most people get the whole equation backwards. They work in jobs they hate but do it anyway and buy material items to look “successful” in other people’s eyes, and continue to do so in order to keep up the charade, all in the meantime having their insides twist and turn every time they pull into work.
The main reasons why you should simplify your life are to give you the time and resources to focus on getting out of the job you hate and into a job/career/business you’ll love.
There are tons of ways to simplify your life.
Cut the TV and the cable. (so you can free time and brainpower)
Buy a used car.
Move to a smaller residence.
Stop eating out so much (huge factor)
Learn to cook.
Sell what you don’t need.
Keep track of what you spend everyday (it really adds up)
Do you really need Starbucks everyday?
The bus is a great way to travel (especially with gas prices these days).
Save your loose change.
By no means am I telling you to become a monk and live in the mountains. All I’m saying is start to differentiate between needs and wants and discipline yourself to simplify your life and what you’ll find is that you’ll be pleasantly surprised at just how much time and money you can actually save.
When you simplify your life, you’ll find yourself with more time and resources on your hands. What do you do with those precious resources?
2. Develop Cross Marketable Skills.
This is where a lot of people get stuck. You can spend all the time you want accruing experience, but that will only serve to trap you in your current career, which is exactly what you don’t want if you hate your job/career.
Developing cross marketable skills is what will help free you to pursue other job opportunities and careers.
Cross marketable meaning that they will serve you in any job or career, regardless of industry.
What are some cross marketable skills to develop?
Selling/Persuasion – selling yourself and your ideas to others – this skills is needed more often than you think.
When you’re on the interview, what are you essentially doing?
When you want a raise, what are you doing?
When you suggest implementing your idea, what are you doing?
There is nothing sleazy about selling. Many people associate selling with ripping the other party off. Not so. If the product/services is good, which is YOU, learning how to sell yourself and your ideas should be your top priority. There are a ton of books on this subject and it wouldn’t hurt to read some of them.
Creativity – technology is replacing a lot of jobs that involve routine. A simple example is the cashier. Most places are equipped with self check out stands now. Creativity is the ONE thing that will NEVER be replaced by technology. NEVER. Developing this quality will separate you from the pack.
Effective Communication – I don’t think I need to explain this one.
Social Skills – most jobs will require interaction with people so it would be prudent to learn how to interact with people.
Self Leadership – nothing is more satisfying than knowing you can count on yourself to get the job done. And nothing is more satisfying to employers than knowing you have the self leadership to get the job done as well. No looking over the shoulder. Complete peace of mind. It’s been delegated, it will be done.
Time Management – this is a subset of self leadership and it wouldn’t hurt to learn how to manage your time efficiently as well.
Technology Skills - especially computer related skills. If you’re still having trouble with computers, it would be wise to invest some time in money and learn how to utilize them. Technology is one of the most effective forms of leverage for any business and businesses will continue to use them so you might as well hop on board if you haven’t already done so.
* Note: These skills will help regardless of whether you choose to go down the employee or entrepreneur path.
Develop these intangible skills and you’ll have a nice edge you can bring to the table.
3. Find What You Love to Do in the Meantime.
Again, if you’ve simplified your life, you’ll have time and resources on your hands. You use these precious resources to develop your cross marketable skills AND to find what you love to do.
When you find what you love, spend time on that subject. Become an expert on it.
The great thing about this is that you will naturally become on expert on the subject you love because you spend so much time on it.
You read books about it; you think about it all day long, you practice it.
If you think about it, that’s ultimately what we get paid for – expertise. That’s the bottom line.
Programmers get paid because of their expertise in programming software.
Project managers get paid because of their expertise in managing projects.
Accountants get paid because of their expertise in crunching numbers.
Expertise is a natural byproduct of pursuing what you love to do and people will pay for expertise.
4. Develop Skills, Knowledge, and Experience Related to What You Love to Do.
With your newfound time and resources, this should be easy and natural to do as well.
Skills will become a natural byproduct of spending time doing what you love to do and practicing it.
Knowledge will be a natural byproduct as well. You’ll want to know all about the subject you’re passionate about so you’ll read the newspapers, books, articles, etc., that are related to what you love to do.
With all the time and knowledge and skills you accrue, all of that morphs into experience.
Here’s a really simple example to put together everything we’ve discussed so far.
You’ve simplified your life. You’ve cut down on expenses. You find yourself having freed the precious resources of time and money. You develop your cross marketable skills. You spend your time figuring out what you love to do and you find it and let’s say for example’s sake, it’s making people laugh, telling jokes, stand up comedy, etc.
What now?
Rather than spending money on buying rims for your car, you start buying stand up comedy material from. Chris Rock to Jerry Seinfeld. You spend your time thinking of jokes and anecdotes to tell rather than watching the latest episode of Lost. You seek out a mentor and convince him (thanks to developing your cross marketable skill of persuasion) to help guide you in this new career. You read the books. You try some stand up at a local bar. You apply for a night gig at the local comedy shop, etc.
You see how all of these steps intertwine to help one another?
5. Job Hunt / Start Your Own Business
When you’ve done all this – simplified your life to free up time and resources to develop cross marketable skills and find what you love and developed skills, experience, and knowledge related to that, something inside of you will begin to shine.
You begin to have purpose. You have direction. You’re going somewhere, rather than having that hopeless feeling of being “stuck” in the job/career you hate.
And with that newfound momentum, it’s time to job hunt or start your own business doing what you love to do. This will be easier to do since you’ve developed those cross marketable skills and accrued skills, knowledge, and experience doing what you love to do, hence making you an expert.
6. Quit Your Job.
The time in which you quit your job is entirely up to you.
Some people may be able to do steps 1-5 while working at their job.Others may find that to not be the case.
In any event, steps 1-3 CAN be done while working at your current j ob (simplify your life, develop cross marketable skills, find what you love to do).
If you feel that you won’t have enough time to do steps 4-5 while working at your current job, you can wait until you’ve saved enough money from step 1 to live for three months.
You can then find a part time job that will keep them afloat while you engage in steps 4 and 5.
Quitting your job is a powerful motivator because when you MUST do something, you WILL do it. If you keep telling yourself that you’ll do it later, you’ll always be stuck at your job. Quitting your job serves like a good kick in the pants. Just make sure you have something to fall back on before you do it.
When you’re doing what you love to do, the payoff is so much better. Your health will improve. You’ll be less depressed. Your relationships with friends and family will improve as well. You’ll actually be eager to wake up Monday morning.
The journey you go through from simplifying your life to pursuing your passion, it may be full of ups and downs but in the end, it’s worth it.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
知道嗎我總是惦記 十五歲不快樂的妳
我多想 把哭泣的妳 摟進我懷裡
不確定自己的形狀 動不動就和世界碰撞
那些傷 我終於為妳 都一一撫平
那一年最難的習題 也不過短短的幾行筆記
現在我卻總愛回憶 回憶當時不服輸的你
天空 會不會雨停 會不會放晴
會不會幸福在終點等著我和你
會不會是我忘記 還能勇敢地去淋雨
我們 繼續走下去 繼續往前進
繼續走向期待中的未知旅行
感覺累了的時候 抱著我們的真心
靜靜好好地休息
這些年我還算可以 至少都對得起自己
謝謝妳 是你的單純 給了我指引
遇見過很多很多人 完成了一些些事情
妳一定 還無法想像 多精彩過癮
誰說人生是公平的 它才不管我們想要怎樣
很感激 你那麼倔強 我才能變成今天這樣
我們 繼續走下去 繼續往前進
看這條路肯讓我們走到哪裡
我們想去的地方 一定也有人很想去
我們 都不要放棄 都別說灰心
永遠聽從刻在心中那些聲音
感覺累了的時候 請妳把我的手握緊
沒有地圖 人生只能憑著手上的夢想
循著它的光 曲折轉彎找到有光的地方
Lalala Lalala Lalala 那年的夢想
Lalala Lalala Lalala 人要有夢想
勇敢的夢想 瘋狂的夢想
繼續走下去 繼續往前進
路旁有花心中有歌天上有星
我們要去的那裡 一定有最美麗的風景
Oh~都不要放棄 都別說灰心
不要辜負心裡那個乾淨的自己
痛到想哭的時候 就讓淚水洗掉委屈
我們 要相信自己 永遠都相信
來到這個世界不是沒有意義
我們做過的事情 都會留在人心裡
會被回憶而珍惜
有一天我將會老去 希望你會覺得滿意
我沒有 對不起那個 十五歲的自己
意志消沉了好些日子
連自己都不想和自己溝通
這幾天似乎又一下子開朗起來
也許....巨蟹座就是如此
"那些傷 我終於為妳 都一一撫平"
謝謝妳。
You are wonderful!
我多想 把哭泣的妳 摟進我懷裡
不確定自己的形狀 動不動就和世界碰撞
那些傷 我終於為妳 都一一撫平
那一年最難的習題 也不過短短的幾行筆記
現在我卻總愛回憶 回憶當時不服輸的你
天空 會不會雨停 會不會放晴
會不會幸福在終點等著我和你
會不會是我忘記 還能勇敢地去淋雨
我們 繼續走下去 繼續往前進
繼續走向期待中的未知旅行
感覺累了的時候 抱著我們的真心
靜靜好好地休息
這些年我還算可以 至少都對得起自己
謝謝妳 是你的單純 給了我指引
遇見過很多很多人 完成了一些些事情
妳一定 還無法想像 多精彩過癮
誰說人生是公平的 它才不管我們想要怎樣
很感激 你那麼倔強 我才能變成今天這樣
我們 繼續走下去 繼續往前進
看這條路肯讓我們走到哪裡
我們想去的地方 一定也有人很想去
我們 都不要放棄 都別說灰心
永遠聽從刻在心中那些聲音
感覺累了的時候 請妳把我的手握緊
沒有地圖 人生只能憑著手上的夢想
循著它的光 曲折轉彎找到有光的地方
Lalala Lalala Lalala 那年的夢想
Lalala Lalala Lalala 人要有夢想
勇敢的夢想 瘋狂的夢想
繼續走下去 繼續往前進
路旁有花心中有歌天上有星
我們要去的那裡 一定有最美麗的風景
Oh~都不要放棄 都別說灰心
不要辜負心裡那個乾淨的自己
痛到想哭的時候 就讓淚水洗掉委屈
我們 要相信自己 永遠都相信
來到這個世界不是沒有意義
我們做過的事情 都會留在人心裡
會被回憶而珍惜
有一天我將會老去 希望你會覺得滿意
我沒有 對不起那個 十五歲的自己
意志消沉了好些日子
連自己都不想和自己溝通
這幾天似乎又一下子開朗起來
也許....巨蟹座就是如此
"那些傷 我終於為妳 都一一撫平"
謝謝妳。
You are wonderful!
Friday, March 26, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
revolutionary road
i thought i have had enough lessons. to learn how to love is to set someone free. to learn compromise. scarifices. to love the one i love in a way he needs. but it turns out, at the end, perhaps i am still not mature enough. perhaps i am like many others, perhaps we only need to be spoiled. Perhaps we talk but we never
listen. We dont listen by our heart. Perhaps we are not extraordinary.
my dear god, but i swear i have been good. why it still hurts. why is it has to be so difficult no matter how hard we have tried. people say you always listen, and you will respond...
listen. We dont listen by our heart. Perhaps we are not extraordinary.
my dear god, but i swear i have been good. why it still hurts. why is it has to be so difficult no matter how hard we have tried. people say you always listen, and you will respond...
Monday, March 15, 2010
It's Complicated
Went to Sai Kung with J & Miu today. The weather was not good but it was still a beautiful day for us!
Miu fell sick and vomited in car, also she refused to eat her dried dog food for a few days already...
And I start to feel worried.....I figured that it's so tiring to take care a little doggy, I really cannot imagine what it will be like to be a MOM or even a WORKING MOM.....
"It's Complicated" is a not-to-missed movie that will make you sink into deep thoughts in a quiet night...
To my dear girls friends:
I think we need more girls night out or....girls night in!
Friday, March 12, 2010
Sunday, March 7, 2010
敗犬想結婚 by 健吾
【明報專訊】
《星期二檔案》的「中女告白」真夠TVB：簡單，清楚，不拐圈子。片中訪問了幾個年紀由30至40不等的香港女人，分析她們的被稱為「中女」的心路歷程。
我相信大部分香港人看完後，都一定知道節目想營造的效果，是告訴全香港所有成年的單身女性：「你不結婚，你就死路一條。」節目中的被訪者，皆是七八十年代TVB劇集所吹捧的「女強人」形象。她們有事業，有學識，經濟獨立，有自己的生活，會追尋快樂。但她們都在擔心自己的婚姻。中女Ａ說她活到今天，「都不過是希望找個男人依靠。」中女Ｂ說，事業再有成，都希望找個男人。中女Ｃ說，要保持自己的外貌，是因為要在愛情市場裏有價值。中女Ｄ說，她的男友有太太，男朋友對她說：「我要和她一起，因為你比較堅強。」中女Ｄ就說：「我們分手，就是因為我比較堅強？」
結婚降
所有中女都好像中了降，中的，叫結婚降。她們要結婚，而不是戀愛。
被訪者在鏡頭面前坦誠，坦白得……也許她們不知道她們公開自己膚淺和愚蠢的感情史，是何等的可憐可憫。她們開誠布公，為著博人同情和憐愛嗎？我想她們不會。但在鏡頭面前，紅酒白酒香檳到肚，吐出幾句擲地有聲的sound bite，就正中記者的下懷了。
新聞節目需要收視，需要討論。香港人最愛juicy，最喜歡看別人Ｘ街。角色設定好了：一群自以為很有主見，自以為很會戀愛的人。在情路自稱跌跌撞撞，愛過痛過，以執迷證實自己愛過。我肯定，他們不會認為「戀愛是一種過程而不是一種手段」，結婚不是最後和全部。交出「我們分手，就是因為我比較堅強？」這種低級的苦澀和濫情，何苦？是希望別人會明白自己「也不過是一個普通女人」？
况且，容許我理性地，冷血地去想：「喂，你為什麼會容許一段關係變成這個地步？」為什麼兩個人在一起，一個人變心了，另一個人不知道？是因為她根本不在愛別人，而是因為她在愛一些條件嗎？是她有一張「男人的評分參考」，卻口硬不肯承認，又要間接地對鏡頭控訴：「那個男人不要我，我也要活得很好，因為我也有我的家人愛我。」我不能明白，為什麼一些「自以為」讀很多書的女生，說的話都那麼荒謬。她們知道，她們要的不是愛情，而是依靠，而是生活伴侶。那就不要把事情收到愛情的幌子之中，因為她們根本不會愛。不會愛自己，更不會愛人。
人生的syllabus
我明白的。女人到一個年紀，都在趕進度。她們30歲的時候被稱為「剩女」，是因為她們也許會怕自己會變成「高齡產婦」。她們認為，女人不生孩子，沒有自己的家庭，「別人」會看她們不起的。我不知道「別人」是什麼人，但每當我看到一些女人結婚的時候，身邊的那個男人都令我想起「可憐」兩個字的時候，我更不明白為什麼人要把結婚當成人生的一套syllabus，沒有做過，就好像他們的人生不合格一樣。
這個電視節目，不在探討中女的問題，而在反覆陳述一套守舊的價值——女人再叻都好，都係要嫁人的。這句人生道理，你不用看「新聞」節目也會聽過的。只要在中午，看《真情》的重播，燒臘店內的善姨好姨容姨阿貴低Ｂ瓊高校長高雅文，她們都在說同樣的話。
最後，我有句話想說。新聞節目要引用酒井順子的《敗犬的遠吠》，說30多歲沒有結婚的女人，就被稱為敗犬。其實，酒井順子的敗犬，說的是35歲之後，沒有結「過」婚，也沒有生過孩子的女人，有「機會」被人家叫敗犬。而敗犬的定義，不只是一個婚姻狀態，而是一種對未來、對戀愛採取半放棄態度（如不留意時尚、不化妝打扮，沒有自己的嗜好，有一天活一天）的日本 女人。粗暴地搶劫「敗犬」這兩個字，又當成是「日本發明」的社會學用語，是沒有品的。
.
《星期二檔案》的「中女告白」真夠TVB：簡單，清楚，不拐圈子。片中訪問了幾個年紀由30至40不等的香港女人，分析她們的被稱為「中女」的心路歷程。
我相信大部分香港人看完後，都一定知道節目想營造的效果，是告訴全香港所有成年的單身女性：「你不結婚，你就死路一條。」節目中的被訪者，皆是七八十年代TVB劇集所吹捧的「女強人」形象。她們有事業，有學識，經濟獨立，有自己的生活，會追尋快樂。但她們都在擔心自己的婚姻。中女Ａ說她活到今天，「都不過是希望找個男人依靠。」中女Ｂ說，事業再有成，都希望找個男人。中女Ｃ說，要保持自己的外貌，是因為要在愛情市場裏有價值。中女Ｄ說，她的男友有太太，男朋友對她說：「我要和她一起，因為你比較堅強。」中女Ｄ就說：「我們分手，就是因為我比較堅強？」
結婚降
所有中女都好像中了降，中的，叫結婚降。她們要結婚，而不是戀愛。
被訪者在鏡頭面前坦誠，坦白得……也許她們不知道她們公開自己膚淺和愚蠢的感情史，是何等的可憐可憫。她們開誠布公，為著博人同情和憐愛嗎？我想她們不會。但在鏡頭面前，紅酒白酒香檳到肚，吐出幾句擲地有聲的sound bite，就正中記者的下懷了。
新聞節目需要收視，需要討論。香港人最愛juicy，最喜歡看別人Ｘ街。角色設定好了：一群自以為很有主見，自以為很會戀愛的人。在情路自稱跌跌撞撞，愛過痛過，以執迷證實自己愛過。我肯定，他們不會認為「戀愛是一種過程而不是一種手段」，結婚不是最後和全部。交出「我們分手，就是因為我比較堅強？」這種低級的苦澀和濫情，何苦？是希望別人會明白自己「也不過是一個普通女人」？
况且，容許我理性地，冷血地去想：「喂，你為什麼會容許一段關係變成這個地步？」為什麼兩個人在一起，一個人變心了，另一個人不知道？是因為她根本不在愛別人，而是因為她在愛一些條件嗎？是她有一張「男人的評分參考」，卻口硬不肯承認，又要間接地對鏡頭控訴：「那個男人不要我，我也要活得很好，因為我也有我的家人愛我。」我不能明白，為什麼一些「自以為」讀很多書的女生，說的話都那麼荒謬。她們知道，她們要的不是愛情，而是依靠，而是生活伴侶。那就不要把事情收到愛情的幌子之中，因為她們根本不會愛。不會愛自己，更不會愛人。
人生的syllabus
我明白的。女人到一個年紀，都在趕進度。她們30歲的時候被稱為「剩女」，是因為她們也許會怕自己會變成「高齡產婦」。她們認為，女人不生孩子，沒有自己的家庭，「別人」會看她們不起的。我不知道「別人」是什麼人，但每當我看到一些女人結婚的時候，身邊的那個男人都令我想起「可憐」兩個字的時候，我更不明白為什麼人要把結婚當成人生的一套syllabus，沒有做過，就好像他們的人生不合格一樣。
這個電視節目，不在探討中女的問題，而在反覆陳述一套守舊的價值——女人再叻都好，都係要嫁人的。這句人生道理，你不用看「新聞」節目也會聽過的。只要在中午，看《真情》的重播，燒臘店內的善姨好姨容姨阿貴低Ｂ瓊高校長高雅文，她們都在說同樣的話。
最後，我有句話想說。新聞節目要引用酒井順子的《敗犬的遠吠》，說30多歲沒有結婚的女人，就被稱為敗犬。其實，酒井順子的敗犬，說的是35歲之後，沒有結「過」婚，也沒有生過孩子的女人，有「機會」被人家叫敗犬。而敗犬的定義，不只是一個婚姻狀態，而是一種對未來、對戀愛採取半放棄態度（如不留意時尚、不化妝打扮，沒有自己的嗜好，有一天活一天）的日本 女人。粗暴地搶劫「敗犬」這兩個字，又當成是「日本發明」的社會學用語，是沒有品的。
.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
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